Lonely Guy

Feeling Dis-motivated and a bit of loss at the same time

2011-11-29T00:45:00.004+08:00

Sigh, after 1 week of straight "A", I will not get to see it again.

Firstly Sport coaching, the first "B"... Sian...

Next LPP B because I never elaborate more on team rating.

Now, CCM, I think that I did everything. Yet, still a "B" sigh... Wonder what he want ;( SIGH!!!

Frankly speaking, I find that I really start to lose a lot of motivation on CCM already! Sigh!!!

Sense that bad luck seem to be coming to my way! Things start to go unsmooth after 1 week of smooth and happy time!

Hope that at the end of graduate, I can at least get a GPA of 3 and above.

2011-10-20T04:52:00.003+08:00

Dear blog,

school had started about 3 weeks. this semester was dam tough. Don't know why. Now only week 2, and i already obtained 2 "C" for my daily grade. The fact is not I never put in effort. But I also don't know why. My feeling now was really very cold and seriously I feel like crying my sadness out.

If there were a chance to change, seriously, I will not want to come to RP anymore. Frankly speaking, RP is not a good school from what I feel. In this world, I foreseen that there are 2 different type of people. They are either smart but slacker or stupid but hard-working. In HKSS, I experience that stupid but hard-working your effort does pay off. But coming to RP, it does not happened anymore.

Seriously, I don't know what are the other more thing I can do to preventing my GPA from dropping anymore. I really hope that someone can enlighten me.

2011-10-07T00:11:00.004+08:00

Start of school, now is day 2 of school start.

Also, at the same time, just came back from my Mount Rinjani trip.

Had a lot of different and new experience there.

Lost a lot of virgin there at Rinjani.

(1) I finally shit in the mountain.

(2) I did snookerling

(3) I lost my wallet and IC etc overseas

(4) The first mountain that I curse when climbing the summit

(5) The first mountain that I had the thought of giving up half way

(6) The first mountain that I experience inconsistent temperature

Well, back to what I had been doing the past few days.

After coming back the first night, reached home, I checked my new class etc.

Totally feel sian for getting that type of class. But I can't do anything.

On 5 October 2011

I went to school having CCM (Challeng Course Management) module on that day. Seriously, I need to recall all my knots and do more practise already.

Then after that at night I went for my NCAP theory lesson.

After that went to police station want to do a report lost of my IC. But they told me don't need to report. Just go to the ICA building and do a new IC.

On 6 October 2011

having school too. Module was sport coaching. Thing was similar to thing I learnt from NCAP theory.

Having lunch with them (CK, Louis, Wen Bing, Kassandra, and Ester) during 2nd break.

After school, meet with bro (Drew) and go to sport complex to return my bag and then off I go to make my Ez-link card. But before that, I called and realise that Woodlands mrt station cannot do Ez-link card. All along I thought that Mrt station with the ticket counter we can make our Ez-link card. But I was wrong. Also, I called Translink and checked and also cancelled my lost card and get all the number to get my refund.

Went to cause way to take my passport size photos.

After that head to Jurong East to do my Ez-link card. and Dan from Bukit Batok Swimming Complex called me asking me to do fix middle shift on Sunday and I agreed. Since Jurong West does not give me regularly shift. Also, at the same time, Jurong West got too many people to compete with to get the job. They are Quan Hong (fix part timer), Derek, Jit Hao, Jun Hao, Wei Jian. So, I think just accept Bukit Batok shift as I do not want to waste my time. Save my slot for Jurong West and the 1 whole month, they only gave me 6 or 7 shifts. I am free on almost every afternoon and they rather give the shift to other and not so much to me. well, this was wrote based on how I feel. No hard feeling.

Then at night, I went to my TP. Next session I going out to the road to drive. Feel a bit stress.

Then after my TP, received Kenneth sms saying that he need to put me permanent at NAA. I was totally sian. Until now still can't get a fix class and long hour? Was thinking of jumping to another swim school to teach at the end of my semester. But will see how!

Flying Off Again!

2011-09-27T09:44:00.003+08:00

Well, time passes so fast, it is the day of another holiday that I am going to fly off again. Seem like every holiday in tertiary level, I can't stop myself going overseas.

Well, the feeling before flying off for me are always the same.

Feeling a bit sian, don't really want to go.

However, after a few days, I will be enjoying myself instead :-/

Hope that everything will go well during the trip and after the trip.

Seriously must take good care of myself. After the trip, it will be the month that I am facing difficulty challenges.

October to me = no rest month for me.

Every odd weekday, I am having my NCAP Course at night.

Almost every even weekday, I am having my driving lesson.

Weekend, I still need to work and attend my swimming lesson.

Seriously hope that everything can really goes well.

Also, not to forget that I am current need times to do my proposal for a few projects.

Also with meeting.

But also sad to say that I think this time we are going to go separate way (Secondary School Friends). For months, I can't organised any outing.

Hope that I will be able to find one weekend and go out with TZY to Singapore River there and have our leisure.

Well, it will be even best if I got my own DSLR camera.

But until now have not got myself 1 due to money issue.

~Sigh~

Last but not least, those who are already overseas hope you all are doing well now.

I think I shall end my

2011-09-23T23:53:00.004+08:00

Time seriously flies so fast. It been so long since I did my last updates.

Well, time flies, people do change.

What are the changes that I made after enrolled into polytechnic?

It is definitely a lot.

It can be good it can be bad.

Frankly speaking, sometime, I am not even sure what had I become?

Sometime feel that I am in a lost :-/

After enrolled into RP, I had seen that your hardwork does not really pay off. Yet, I still keep on putting on hardwork. Why is this so? I been telling myself that what is yours, it will eventually become yours at the end of the day. But this sentence does not occur into my mind in the past.

Oh well, also, today GPA and result was release. Sad to see that my GPA drop once again despite me putting a lot of hardwork in my studies.

Recalling back to my aim in RP when I was in year 1, I thought that I will be happy after obtaining those position.
But it was not.

TrekEarth, getting a Vice President, but I don't feel happy at all.

Reason being because I got the position but not the heart.

Intending to leave TrekEarth silently after my Mount Rinjani trip.

And the only time that I really sense the happiness in RP was the year 2 semester 1 whereby me, Esther, CK, Banana, etc went out to eat after our lesson.

This was the first time I miss my training just to go and eat and play with them.

But I feel the happiness.

Even though instead of going home and do my work, I go out with them.

I really can't describe the sense of happiness with them.

I really hope that we can become a group of very close friend whereby we go out regularly, playing, shopping, holiday and many more.

However, on the other hand, there is also another sad thing happening.

"The 4 Brothers" seriously = separate already.

The same as the "SKITTLE" group.

So, this is how our friendship bond for years come to an end.

Seriously sad to say that.

But congratulation to Jeremy, finally attach:)

Work, well, it can be said that it is not as smooth as I expected.

Coaching, I don't know why, I had been shifting here and there.

Having my own class already, I seriously don't like to be shift around.

But still, do I have a choice?

It is "NO"

Externally seem to be a option, but internally, it is a decision being made.

Well, as a worker, I really can't do anything much.

Sometime, frankly speaking, I feel that the most relaxing time for me is when I am doing swimming.

Without, it gave me the moment of relaxing feeling.

2011-05-29T23:54:00.003+08:00

29 May 2011

So, another month going to pass. Studies, so far is ok. No problem with my class and classmate. Having fun and joyment with them. Modules, so far quite good. Just that sociology might be a bit challenge. Still I will overcome it.

Currently, considering leaving trekEarth. To be frank, I don't see anymore point of staying. Anything, never update me. Anything, never inform or tell me. Seem like I am not welcome by them anymore. Thus, don't really see much point of staying. Before the start of year 2 semester 2, was intending to leave all the leadership post and spend time pursue my interest. But upon knowing that I might going to be the vice president, I don't think that it's time for me to put down and was thinking of bringing trekEarth to a higher level (more trip). But during the xcapade camp, I don't think I need to do that anymore.

Next, friendship, facing an obstacle and in the end, we cannot overcome it.

Finally, long waiting, finally get to start work at SSC. Today my first day of work. Everything was quite well. Learnt new things though :)

Month of May, lose of something, gain of something.

2011-05-17T11:28:00.002+08:00

Time passes, thing changes. So does ue, the characther of human changes. But what happened to me? I become worse? Where are my prefectionalism? Where my fulfilling of responsibility goes to?

This semester, it is getting harder and harder to get "A". Semester start until now, I already obtain 4 "C" sigh...

What had I changed into? I know that I am a changed person. But to what type?

2011-04-29T19:02:00.005+08:00

Sigh, in my life, I think currently, I am facing the toughter ever challenge so far. Storm after another. Leaving me wiith so many heavy load on my shoulder which added to the stress that I am facing. Sometime, I really feel like leaving all the problems and stress.

Problem 1, start of the first week, already obtain 1 "C". How am I going to bring up my GPA this semester?
Start of the second week, already obtained another "C". Really dam demoralise. Seem like it is getting harder and harder for me to get my merit GPA already. My goal is drifting me further and further away from me. No matter how hard I worked. No matter how much I do. No matter what I do. It will still not be recognised. Only smartness will be recognise.

Problem 2, seriously, I don't really find the type of joy and fun in RP anymore. I really really hope/want the clock to turn back for a year .

Problem 3, Current 4 brothers there also facing problem. Seem like I could not bring the 4 of us to tide over this storm. We gonna lose 1 of them. Yes we are defeated. Sigh...

Seriously, never thought that there is a day whereby I will really be so down. So far in my life, current, I am in the most down situation. But still what is actually surrounding me are brushes and trees whereby I need to take what to move on. Flying at the speed of light, thought was spinning in my head. How can I move on to my highest peak again? Now I am all alone to climb myself up. Nobody will be there for me to go through it. This is going to be a very very tought period and time of my life. Falling from the peak to the very end is very easy. But climbing up is very difficult. Especially with wounded around me.

Sitting in the empty room

Trying to forget the past

This was never meant to last

But I wished that it wasn't so

But when the last tear fall

I will still be holding on to the memories

2011-04-18T21:46:00.002+08:00

Aww, time passes so fast. It is the start of my Year 2 life in RP already. Hope this semester, everything can went on smoothly. But sadly, the first thing that make me disheartened was that our daily grade will be 15 out of 15 no longer 13 out of 15. Was thinking of missing my Wednesday lesson to go for my AED course and my daily grade will still not be affected. But now, it surely going to get affected. But my final decision most likely will still be going for the AED course. Despite seeing that my aim moving further and further away from me, I feel sad about it. But I still going to give my fully best and that it. In life, there are give and take. I think this time round, I need to give up one of my module daily grade for one day and take the course. Hopefully after the AED course, thing can go even smoothly. Currently, thing for me are quite smoothly. Just now when I was bathing, I recalled what my senior Edward told me that regardless of the trip is official recognise by the school or not, it does not matter. What matter most is that our own personal achievement. This really reflect to that situation I am facing now. I have been wanting to get a diploma with merit. But does it really make me happy? I don't think so. The process does not make me happy. Just like last semester, I have been giving myself pushing myself so hard, hoping to get good grades. But the outcome at the end is I am tired and I do not really feel happy at all at the end of the day. Getting a merit is just written on a paper. It does not really reflect the skills and knowledge you have. What important is the skills and knowledge that I have. Because that are the personal achievement that will be following you, in your heart, in your mind. Just like the thing that Edward told me during the trip. Although the trip is not official recognise, what matter most is that we remember how we conquer the toughness and reach the summit of the mountain the personal achievement in our self and also the sun rise we saw, the personal achievement that we will always remember. Nevertheless, shall not think so much. Just give my best and do thing that really make me happy :)

2011-04-05T13:11:00.003+08:00

Sigh. things does not really went well with me this holiday. Work, instead of spending more time working, I am not. SSC until now have not send me for the AED course yet. Which mean when school start, I don't think I can work as a lifeguard in SSC yet:( It really ruin my plan very much. Actually I intend to work under SSC in the morning then noon I go and teach swimming when school start on the weekend. But it is hardly possible anymore. Swimming coach, I thought that I can earn much but I just feel that it is hardly possible. Upcoming, my SR date crash with my trip date. Now I need to spend more cash. After my SR test, I need to cab down to kranji. Next, one of my tooth nerve got infection and today (5/4/2011) I am going down for an so call operation. Total cost will be $300 plus. After that hope I can go for my swim SI course Anyways, hope I can did well for my SR test and have a safe and smooth and also fun trip :)

2011-03-07T18:01:00.003+08:00

Back from kayaking expedition! 3 days ago.

A 4 days and 3 night staying beside the area of sea. It was really very relaxing. So yes, now I have my another commitment down. Committeement left with are my trekking. I also going to quiz my SHL committee members as well and spend more time in SLC where I really get fun, laughter and many more.

Back to my topic.

Day1

Kayaking expedition was still ok for the first day.
Camp at Changi and everything was smooth as well as the weather.

Day 2

The physical and mentally demanding for the second day.
We kayak across the sea, need to kayak fast at the channel area and need to use more strength to overcome the power of wave that are going against us. During the kayak, we got no choice but to carry on kayaking despite being tired. But it was a good experience that day. And we are lucky not to meet up with the bad weather too if not it will become even more tired for us.

Day 3

The fun and joy entertainment on the third day. No kayaking due to rain. Power boat to ST John Island for the TMSI and then realax and cook our lunch and play at another part of St John Island. Back to Sister Island where we are staying. Was lucky enough to be in the boat the Addison drove. we get to be the one driving. The boat keep losing balance due to everyone keep taking pictures and wanting to drive :D At night, BBQ. Year 2 are really great people in creating jokes and joy.

Day 4

The true expedition on the last day. Kayak in the rain from changi back to ubin. But half way cancel due to the whitening. But after that kayak back and almost reaching, it rain!

After the expediton, home for dinner then meet up with frined for some discussion then home sweet home to sleep. Next day woke up work!

Where is the best me?

2011-02-22T16:02:00.002+08:00

In the past, I used to find myself responsible, reliable etc.

But where does all that goes to Yi Long!
What happened to you?
In the past no matter what, you dislike doing, you will still go and do it! But now, why can't you carry on doing it?

Time to do a really deep self reflection! I really changed a lot in my person attitude! I need to find my oldself that is really good, responsible, self discipline and reliable etc back!

2011-02-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year come and go.

I can feel the different in my family already. In the past, we used to go to my greatgrand ma house after gathering at my grand parents house. But now, we just do it in my grand parents house.

Next is my grandfather. He left me for 2 years already. Without him, I can feel the different in my Grandparent house when I am at my father side. :(

Today the third day of Chinese New Year, went to work. got my week 1 pay which was $75. Tomorrow going to work again sian! But no choice, need cash.

Hope to get both my licences as soon as pooible (boat and car) But I intend to get the boat first then car!

2011-01-13T23:18:00.003+08:00

Still think of her!
On my way to meeting just now, I keep wantiing to sms her. But in the end, I did not.

I just want to tell her that
my arm will always be there for her to lie on
my arm will always be there for her to hold on
my shoulder will always be there for her

But I can only try to be there for her if she need someone and she did tell me.

Just what is love? Just a word, it can make a person happy or sad. It can shattered a person heart into million of pieces just like a bullet shoot into a a person head and out came all his shattered heart.

2011-01-13T09:57:00.003+08:00

Without much realize, it is the start of the week 12 of semester 2.
4 more weeks to holiday. It was fast. In a blink of eye, 11 weeks had passed.

Tomorrow going down to British club for job interview. Hope that I can pass the interview as I am really desperate for a part time job.

If I get to work at British club, the first thing I going to purchase after getting my pay is contact lens. then follow by the Adidas bag :D

After next week, slightly more freedom to me. Yeah, at the very least, I can spend a bit more time to relax.

Starting of 2011, I said that I want to let go of her. But I just can't do it.

2011-01-06T23:42:00.003+08:00

Why am I so useless? Why I don't have the courage to send her back? WHY WHY WHY???

2011-01-02T20:09:00.005+08:00

Sitting in a dark environment with only my table lamp light up my surrounding. Cool and raining wether. Listerning to song that was years ago. Just to update my blog.

Tomorrow will be the starting of the school. Don't really looking forward to it. I was just hoping to end my year 1 semester 2 as soon as possible. Tuesday is the start of my UT 2. I am really scare of that UT. Because I really need to do well for it as I really did badly for my UT 1.

This semester was a real stress semester for me.

Do you know now, I had start to wonder does hardwork really pay off? This question I asked myself when I was in Secondary 4 taking my N level. Despite Mdm Chuah said that hardwork definitly will pay off and the outcome of my N level result prove so. Since then I did not question myself this question anymore. But nowadays, I really start to question it again. Because I really did give my best. But it just makes me feel that hardwork does not pay off.
Despite working hard, still unable to get "A" for daily grade. Well since that happened last year, let's just forget it any bounce back from the fall.

Also I realise something. The reason behind me foor being busy was because I really do not like the feeling of empty in my heart.

But how is the start of 2011, of course, there are things waiting for me to be done. But I will try to take note of my emotion already. That is the things that I had been neglectingfor the past few years.

2010-12-25T18:43:00.004+08:00

To almost everyone, 25 December was a day they looking toward to.
But to me, it was just like another day of life, nothing special.
Friends all going out for celebrating. But for me, just staying at home doing my stuffs.

Currently it was raining at my house area.
A very sudden big rain. I just feel that I was surround in a darkness life again.
A dark but peaceful and quiet time, listerning to a peaceful music, I felt so relax and very clear of what I am thinking.
I love this type of feeling, this type of environment!
It just makes me feel so relax. But the only thing that I am short of is red wine by my side. Without doing anything but relaxing and listerning to musics!
Just like how I enjoy the Friday night 8pm to 9pm, relaxing, listerning to music, seeing stars blinking in the sky and thinking of what are the things that I want in the future.

It had really been so long since I enjoy myself like that due to the workload I am having currently.

2010-12-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

2010 almost pass.

There are good things happened to me there are also bad thing happened to me too. But most of the things that happened to me are bad. Especially November and December.

Hope that things in 2011 will be better than me.

Currently considering taking up part time study in NAFA for interior design.

Now what is my feeling toward her, I never think much. It is not possible for us.

I know that I am not a good observance, I am not a guy who are really willing to give up thing for the sake of her. Seeing the thing of what he did for you in your blog, most of it, it is difficult for me to do it.

Sometime, I find that it is very difficult for me to be a good boyfriend. Backpack travel is still the best option for me.

Let's carry on mmy life, forget my feeling on her and carry on persue what I want.
(1) Swimming Instructor
(2) Sport Climbing level 2 and higher
(3) Interior Design diploma
(4) Wedding Planner diploma
(5)DSLR Camera
(5)Boat Licence
(6)Boat for myself
(7)Car Licence
(8)Car for myself
(9)Get my AM and SR quickly
(10)Busy lifestyle
(11)Good GPA(3.0 and above)
(12)Backpack travel
(13)Learn other sports that I had been wanting to learn.

Since I had decide to put it down, the last thing I can hope is that she can find a guy
(1)That is faithful to her
(2)That will not make her cry anymore
(3)That will be protecting her
(4)That will not hurt her feeling
(5)Last with her
And many other. But shall not say so much as I do not want to disclose it.

2010-12-05T20:13:00.003+08:00

Another week had passed.

Today the weather was dam good for me to go for suntan and I did not give it a miss :)
After that, went home than out to commonwealth and meet Hariss for blood donation.
Most of the time today and tommorw was playing FM 2011 but after blogging going to do my pre reading and download of my 6p.

Coming out with my wish list for 2011. I hope I can achieve almost all. I think that I really going to change myself yeah, but need to cost $$$. So must work first.

Back ti the 4 brothers, it had been months since we all met. Have all of us go our separate way already? Hope no.

My 2 little sisters, it was a good news to me that you all are in quite a stable relationship. Hope you all will last.

Back to me, I know it is impossible. I will just let it go, hoping that it will not affect our friendship. But indeed I find her being stubborn. Since she was the one making the decision, I will give her my bless and wish her all the best. But I will still be there for her if she needs someone to cry on or lead on.

As for me, it was not the first time. So i was used to it. Also, I had found somemore new goals in my life. Which are in my 2011 wish list.
I had the thought of saving $$$ first before pursuing a certificate in wedding planning, interior designer and licences (boat and car). Ya, Also, at the same time, I will carry on body building. And ya, diving and rock climbing will be the next 2 other activities I intend to take on and finding organisations to start my volunteer work (was in my mind but up till now, have not start yet).

But before all this, I need to readjust my timing and save up $$$ first.

I will still admit that relationship will truly make a person blind and will totally change one.

Lst but now least, I think this song suit the relationship between me and her now. Let's me keep this feeling lock in my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i7TMs__Agg&list=QL&playnext=5

A new week a new start, let the unhappy past be forgotten and what should be forget forget.

2010-11-28T21:38:00.004+08:00

Finally almost reaching the end of the November 2010. My tough period are over. From what I had observe from it, I found out a lot of weaknesses throughout this tough period.

Firstly, I did not manage to communicate well into my class yet.
Secondly, I don;t think I had did well in planning my time despite the crash, unable to really fulfill all the 3 sides well (Help FSC, Trekking gathering and Service Learning club event).

Also during this period, I also realise that I am fond of her. But now, I really need to think which side I really need to put most of my attention on.

Service learning club?
Trekking IG?
SHL Club?

To be frank, my motive for being so hardcores are because I really want to learn those skill (organising events) and also get a position that I want in my IG.
Service learning Club -> Projct management
Trekking IG -> Vice President
SHL Club -> Vice President
But now, I start to feel that the chances for me to become a Vice President for both my Trekking and SHL Club IG.
I have the thought for putting down my commitment for SHL Club.
Although, that happen to trekking too but I don't intend to put down because I still want to travel around to world, enjoying the sunrise scene. And ya, if you ask me why I feel that I will not be getting a Vice President for Trekking IG because Jia Da said that they intend to train me as a PTI as I am good in physical.

SHL club, based on recently activities, I think that other people stand a higher chance than me. So ya, I think that it is not possible for me to get it. No matter how much I commit, I don't feel that I can get a Vice President. So, I don't see a point of carry on committing as there is nothing much you can do if you did not get either a President or a Vice President.

Now I have the thought of changing my committment prority switching SHL Club and Service Learning Club. If you asked me why I would have the intention of switching the priority are because I want to spend some of my daily life time doing volunteer work, next is because she is in Service Learning Club, so I really hope to spend more time with her. (Just realise that I really fall for her).

But up to now, I really need to find a day and think of what I really want next. Do I willing to put down some of my committment for the sake of her or I will choose to give let it go again? Also, I need to knwo which committment is more important to me.

Another weekend goes!

2010-11-07T21:30:00.003+08:00

Another weekend had pass! Since the start of the semester 2, I start to feel unhappy when it is getting close to Monday, Why is this so? Is it really because of my class or other reasons?

Nowadays in republic polytechnic, I spend more time emo than happy. The time when I was really happy in RP was when with my semester 1 E25B peers and my trek IG mates.

So far, I think the most happy time in my life was the time in Hong Kah Secondary School during the period of time when we were Secondary 3, 4 & 5 with my peers (Hock Meng, Jia Da, Jeremy, Qiu Lin, Zi Yang, Irfan, Audrey Wee, Michelle, Deborah, Cassandra Chan and many more).
During that few years, I was really very happy being with them.
Every morning, we will reach school own time own target but will gather together before assembly, joking around, singing songs, eating breakfast and tea/coffee.

During recess, we will gathering together to eat together and go back to class together after that.

After school, we will go home together. During Secondary 3, we will took 99 and make a loop.
Although I did not join them everytime. But somethime I also join them when I can and free.
When we were in Secondary 4 & 5, we will either took 187 and change bus at Jurong point or half way. Sometime, we were walk all the way out to take 185. I really missed the time walking to bus stop with them.

Lessons, having lesson together, we joke, study, helping one another, all are fun memories.

Structure lessons, we will be walking out of the school to YuHua village for our lunch and walk back to school for our lessons again. Missed the time too.

I also remembered that the first day of school in 2009, we walked to Yuhua Village for lunch. I treated everybody for lunch (Chicken Rice). Is it possible to have that type of scene again? How I wish it will.

D&T lessons sometime makes us stay back finished our project. Went home with Hock meng, Jeremy and Irfan, walking out of the D&T room followed by the school gate in our green uniform with our school bag and taking a D&T file on our hand.

On the actual day of O level paper, we were all doing our last minute study at the Mcdonald at Yuhua Village. Really miss that type of feeling and time with them. Eating, studying, helping one another and walking to school to take our O level paper. I know that it is not possible to happen again.

Last but not least, we celebrate events together in school.
National Day and Teacher's Day are the major event we celebrated together. Singing songs, watching performances in the hall and going home or lunch at Jurong Point after that.
Sport day, went to Jurong Point shop and play until late noon. Remember that we walked from the Clementi stadium to the bus stop taking 198 to Jurong Point. There were a few times we walked to Clementi chooping mall area took to take bus.
Cross country, from Secondary 1 to 3, we went to Jurong Point for lunch and shop too. But Secondary 4 we did not. And Secondary 5, we don't get a chance because cross country is not open to all due to the H1N1.

Very fast to the end of our Secondary School time. Time flew just like that in 5 years. Very fast. In the 5 years, happiness, joy, arguments and many more are actually among us. Regardless it is a happy or sad time with you guys, I really missed it and love it very much.

Thanks for being part of my Secondary school life.

Friends:
Lee Jia da
Quah Hock Meng
Jeremy Wang Wei Loon
Vinly Chin
Lewis Ho
Tan Zi Yang
Irfan
Goh Qiu Lin
Terry Tan
Jerry Tan
Er Jin Yi
Audrey Wee
Michelle
Cassandra Chan
Deborah Yeo
Jasper and friends
Khuz
My NCC friends

Teachers:
Mdm Lisa Chuah
Mdm Sim
Mr Ng Boon Teck
Mr Ng Han Liat
Mr Lawrence Che
Mr Ling Peng Yip
Miss Ang Yan Pure
Mrs Chong CH
Mdm Sharifah
Mr Chan YM
Mdm Linda Tan
Mr You YY
Mr Adron Wee
Mr Wee JY
Mr Chua LS
Mrs Yap
Mr Steven Toh

Upon getting my O level result, and came to RP, getting the course that I want, I thought that my next chapter of life had began and it will be a happy one. In semester 1, I was indeed very happy in RP, looking forward to school daily. Went for trips after my semester 1. Was also happy during the trip. But caoming back to school for semester 2, I was not really that happy at all and wasn't really looking forward to school daily...

2010-11-01T19:39:00.001+08:00

Back from school, manage to find time to do a short update.

TO be frank, this semester, I am not really happy.

Finally my tears dropped from my eye

2010-10-31T22:51:00.004+08:00

Starting of my semester 2 in RP for 3 weeks already. Thing wasn't amooth as I expected. School started about 3 weeks only. And my daily grades I got more 'B' than 'A'. I really find that I am working so hard to get more 'A' but now, I just feel that it is unless. Why it is so difficult to get 'A' this semester? Why last semester it was so easy to get?
This semester,
week 1, 4 'B' and 1 'A' only.
week 2, 3 'A' and 1 'B', 1'x' as I did not attend school due to my O level paper.
Week 3, currently 2 'B' already. but expect to get a 'B' for tomorrow module marketing too. The other 2 module, I think will also get a b too :(
I think for the whole of this semester, I can expect less 'A' and more 'B' coming and 'C' or 'D' may be coming more often than 'A'

At this rate, I am unable to achieve my target/goal set. Which is to bring up my GPA. Really I think this semester, my GPA going to drop for sure. Becasue, I don't really think I can did well for my UT by scoring a B+ and above for all.
Really because of this, I had shed tears.

Really, what can I really do? I think that I had done what I had but did not even obtain a 'A'. I did more than what I did in the last semester. Being active, contribute, helping my team mate if I can. Just what went wrong? Can someone really tell me? I think my team members spend most of their time in class facebooking, twitter, msn, webcam and I think the grade she got is same with mine. WTH is this?

BUT NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, I MUST NOT GIVE UP DUE TO THIS SMALL TRIVAL MATTER.

2010-10-29T21:28:00.003+08:00

Coming to the end of another week. Secondary school are having their holiday now but I am still studying. Just in a blink of eye, 1 year is going to end soon.

Just not I was viewing all the facebook pictures on my profile. Seeing the last day of secondary 5 life, I felt happy and sad. Happy because the event was full of joy. Was sad because it was the day we departed from HKSS from each other.

Now I am also listening to the song sang by zhou jie lun in my secondary school time. Miss the time I studied in in darkness and listening to those music.

After those secondary photos, came to my poly photos. My starting of poly life E25B had bring a good start to my poly life. Starting from cal birthday, then follow sentosa trip and the last lesson of Andy. The back view of him leaving the class, seem to be an happy event, but at the back of the scene is tear drip down from our eye. During that semester, we had joy we had fun we also had season in the sun together. Coming to end of semester 1, the last lesson of the semester, I can still remember that the class was actually very quiet that day as I can feel that everybody knows that the time we are departing are counting down, from hours to minutes and finally to seconds.

After semester 1, Kinabalu trip, having fun at there with seniors and friend. Also I think I had start to form a group of my poly friend already. Now semester 2, I miss the time of semester with my E25B mates and my time at Kinabalu.

But we cannot look back. We should look forward to make tomorrow a better day.

2010-10-15T21:13:00.002+08:00

Came back from my Mount Kinabalu trip last Sunday and rest for a day before school start. So fast a week had pass in a blink of eye.

About my Mount Kinabalu trip, it was fun. Was lucky enough that I did not fall sick during the trip as we trek in the rain up to the so call the hotel. and down to the hotel and also descending down. Weather there was really cold. But was lucky enough that there was a sleeping bag for all and also the weather was quite cooperative. We were so lucky that it was not raining when we going to the summit on the third day night. The route to the summit was indeed dangerous and challenging. Holding of the rope and climb up. But to be frank, I was lucky enough that I was same team with 1 of the facilitator Leng Er. She had take care of us a lot. Thanks Leng Er. I really need to learn how to become a person who will also no thinkong of my ownself only. After decend from the summit, I did the Via Ferrerta. Half way throughout the Via Ferrerta, rain start to pour and we got no choice but to finish doing the Via Ferrerta. At the ending part of the Via ferrerta, my 10 fingers totally feel numb without any feeling.
That night after reaching the summit, we recieve a new that there was a landslide. It may hindrance our journey. But luckily it did not.
Day 4 just decend form Mount Kinabalu and board the bus and fo to Kinabalu City and bookinto a lounge to stay for 2 nights.
Days 5 white water rafting. 7 rapids. Was having alot of fun. Took train to reach the destination for white water rafting and after the 7 major rapids, we took a boat to a place and board train. After that reach back to the louge and own time own target.
Day 6 book ouk from the lounge and go to the chocolate factor then home sweet home.

Tuesday school start. the feeling of my new class was different. Feel like going back to the life of semester 1 again. But that is life. Whenever a new start, it will always be a bit bored. As time pass by, the situation will be better...

2010-10-04T20:51:00.002+08:00

Currently nothing to do. Resting so that I will not be tired for the Mt Kinabala trip.

Firstly, I would really like to thank Hock Meng for repairing my Headphone and also purchased a medicine at a cheap price.

Thanks Bro. You will always be there when I need you.

Today morning went back to school for a meeting and after that submit my OBS 21 days form and took my Jacket from Leng Er for the trip and was also surprise that I was given the first aid porch which cause me to repack my bag and increase my bag weight. But it is alright to me. I will just treat it as training. After leaving school, went to Jurong Point. Brought 1 adidas white short and 1 singlet total cause me about $55. After that went home.

Lee was on his way to Gunung Stong now. I will be the next to leave.

Have been saying that I want to do volunteer work since after my O level. But so far, I don't think I had started it. Was thinking of becoming a lifeguard first and start my volunteer work as I will not hesitate so much for my volunteer expense. Also I had the thought of getting a second job as a wedding planner. But seem to be difficult. I hope to carry 2 jobs so that I have more income but I want high paid job. Out of the 2 jobs, I of the timing must be flexibele. Just like a project whether I can take or not depending I am free or not. But it seem to be hard. Because I think they want people with experience, can work full time, or with the cert to the work.

If they was a wedding shop that will really hire me a inexperience, learning everything from the scratch. I will be thanksful and glad enough.

But if you all ask me why I had the thought of becoming a wedding planner, my answer are

(1) I like to run event stuff

(2) I think that I can learn a lot from there

(3) It is a bless to see a couple together

(4) The working time I think it can suit me for 2 jobs if I can choose to take event or not.

2010-09-24T19:33:00.009+08:00

Back to update.

Now I am going to be troubled about choosing to go for my cadet officer course or 21 days OBS course or go for both?

Cadet Officer Course dates are not out yet. But I think it will be held around end of November or start or December.

21 days OBS date was held on 1 December to 21 december.

If both courses do not have clashes and if I went for both courses my GPA should be affected.

What should I do so that I have a win win solution?(Able to attend both courses and not affecting my GPA too.)

Going for 21 days OBS course is a honour!

Going for Cadet Officer Course is a promise that I made to my teachers. They had fought very hard to get me back to help them. I really do not wosh to disappoint them.

GPA, I really want to get a diploma with merit by the time I graduate.

Haiz :( :(

Above are some photos taken during my Nomad trip.

All can be view in my Facebook account.

2010-09-18T10:27:00.005+08:00

Back from my Nomad Adventure trip yesterday. But was busy resting. There still many stuff have not done yet. :(

Upon reaching Singapore yesterday, the smses I received are chain smses, favour sms from my sister(Audrey), fetching me home from mum, help needed from friend(Regina), judging smses.

Okey, anyway, let's talk about my trip below here.

So, the 4 days 3 nights trip was actually 2 days 2 nights trip. But the experiences for the trip was really awesome.

Day 1

Everybody meet in RP koufu at 9.30am sharp and board the bus upon filling the white card and marking the attendance.

3 buses were booked for the trip.

Was being appointed as the bus IC by Ray as 1 bus and it is a really good experience for me to be the bus IC.

After confirm the number of people in our bus by the bus IC, and off we go to the TUAS check point.

Upon passing the 2 checkpoints, we were on our way down to IPOH. And estimated timing to reach was at night 8pm. On the way, we had our toilet breaks and places for our meals.

At night reached IPOH, we were transported in to the camp base in lorries in out bus groups.

When reaching the base, a short briefing were given then follow by our own leisure time. Also, when reaching midnight, the weather there was extremely cold.

Day 2

We were all divided into 3 groups by ourselves and appoint a 2 leaders to take charge of the group. Then had our breakfast at 7.30am sharp and around 8 plus, off to our activities. The 1st activity was caving. Went to the place/destination by lorry.I find that the activity was a bit boring. But inside the cave, animals, humans and other things imagines were formed through corrosion(which is really very .

Due to the rain, an activity was cancelled as it was dangerous. After coming out of the cave, rain started to pour. Was transported back by lorry and had our leisure time until 1plus(if I did not remember wrong) for our lunch.

After lunch, went for high rope activity while another 2 groups went for waterfall abseiling and water rafting.

Board lorry down to our destination again. At the destination was full of mosquito. Was being bit by it many times. The high rope activity was conduct in a very special way. There was no belayer. We had to do all our clicking of the carbiner onto the rope when from 1 place to another. I was the 3rd person to go up. I need to get attacked by the big red ants at the 2nd obstacle. So we had to do all the climbing to reach the flying fox. I think this was what we cannot find in Singapore. Because in Singapore, you can played all the flying fox by climbing the staircase.
After the activities, went back in lorry again. Reached our base and leisure time until dinner at around 7.30pm. After dinner, 8.30pm, had a night briefing and activities to make us think through and understand one another more. At around 10pm sharp, off to our leisure time. The night was extremely cold that I woke up and start to shiver.

Day 3

Woke up reaching 7am sharp. Had breakfast at 7.30.
Went off to change into our wet attire and off to our activities(water rafting and waterfall abseiling)
1st activity was waterfall abseiling it was very fun and interesting as we are doing our abseiling in waterfall. I took the center lane which was very challenging. Reasons were stated below.

Power of the water coming down was strong(Need to use more strength to overcome the power of the water and also hold your body weight)
Rope was short of friction due to the contact with water
Unable to see where is the wall to land our next step
Uneven wall
Unable to see things clearly due to the water hitting my face

After waterfall abseiling, we had fun down stream spray water at each other, sitting on the cold water to played took pictures etc.

After that went for our lunch at water rafting place(which they bring down for us) and went for our rafting. Having a lot of fun in rafting capsize, pulling people down etcs.

After rafting, went back to our base for leisure time. Dinner was serve at 7.30pm sharp.

Have briefing of the day,say what we want to say, survey between 8.15 until 10pm.

At 10pm, leisure time. For me, Was sleeping the whole night like pig like that. Did not even know the night was raining.

Day 4

7am, had our breakfast taking pictures together and area cleaning then board lorries out and wait for buses. Shopping was the next activity before home sweet home!

Such a wonderful camp it is. We will not be able to experience it i n Singapore.

Water rafting, Singapore does not really have a strong river to do it.

Waterfall abseiling, Singapore does not have waterfall to do it. But I heard they said that bird park there got waterfall. But can it be use for abseiling, I don't know because the instructor in charge of my group said that not all waterfall can do abseiling.

Caving, if I did not remember wrongly, there is not cave in Singapore.

High rope, Although it is available in Singapore, but the way of conducting is different. In Nomad, you can only rely on yourself to get pass all the obstacles. But in Singapore, there will always be a belayer there to help you.

Transportation, in Nomad, we were transport to the destination through lorries but Singapore, I think only a hort walk will reach the next destination.

Toilet, in Nomad, it was like a cylinder. We can see through another side through top, below or even the door. But in Singapore, it was a well covered toilet.

Nomad was really a fantastic experiences to gain. I had no regret going it and the cost was reasonable.

Pictures will be uploaded on Facebook!:)

2010-09-04T14:21:00.002+08:00

I think of putting you down. Carry on my single life getting and doing things that I want. Currently, there are really a lot of thing that I really do want to do.

2010-08-13T08:31:00.005+08:00

I choose to let go. Becase there are several reasons.

Firstly, I don't to get distract myself away from it. As I had been distracted by this issue for 1 whole week and my grades were being affected.

Secondly, I feel that no matter what it is, I will not always be better than her ex-stead. She will not feel secure/confident in me.

Thirdly, I feel/find it that no matter how hard I tried I can not move her heart. She will carry on treating me as her brother. Seem like we are not fated to be together. The most we can go is brother and sister relationship.

Forthly, I do not want to break the brother and sister relationship with her. So I choose to let go.

Fiftly, I had already lose confident. having rejected by her everytime I asked, I felt dishearted. But the reason still remain the same for rejecting.

Sixly, I think she already get irritated upon approach so many time.

But to be frank, I was quite regret for not fighting for her in the past and not treasure her in the past. But time cannot turn back. Even with me regreting now and trying to fight to get her back, but it was still gone.

Let me get back into a 100% travelling life and single lifestyle. So that I will not regret for not treasure the time as a single by getting activities on.

Although I really do not wish to lose her as a stead anymore. But I can't controlled it. I can only see her becoming the girl of other guy in which I do not wish it to happen. But that is going to be the fact.

2010-07-19T20:37:00.000+08:00

Just 3 words...

I AM TIRED

2010-07-14T10:05:00.003+08:00

There are still 4 more weeks to come to the end of 1st semester.

Don't know why feel that in class I and some guys are being left out... Any event happen, we don't know any single thing....

Time flew off and never be back...

2010-07-11T22:19:00.003+08:00

Time flew off and will not be back anymore. What left behind was actually memories.

Yesterday and today was quite busy attending my Grandpa 1 year passed away anniversary. He had watched me grow up from a baby until a teenager. He passed by my life for 17 years. All I had now about him is the photo that was left behind by him and memories that we spent together.
I remembered once I spent my holiday at my grandparent house. When I acccidently hit my leg on the stair of the playground and there was a blue black on my leg.My grandpa specially brought the medical oil for me. He travelled all the way to the market to brought it.
Another was I heard from my second aunt that when I was a kid, I was very naughty and kept climb onto my grandpa back.
The other once was when I am secondary 2, I spent my holiday there and I also went to my uncle stall to help. There was a time where he gave me money to top up my ez-link card. But I told him that I still have $ in my ez-link card.
Today, when we burnt the house to him, after everything, everybody were walking back same goes for me but I kept looking back at the house.

And now I am left with 2 grandma and 1 grandpa. Wondering how long will they able to company me in my life?
So, if can, the best is to find time and go down and visit them.

2010-07-08T08:19:00.002+08:00

Ya, it been months since I did updation....

This week I think is a really a bad week for me....
First : During lesson, laptop was being indirectly shut down twice by Ah Cheng.
Second : My Enterprise UT2 really screw up. I gave up my IG just to go home and study for it. But everything in the UT was really hard....
Third: My Problem 10 for problem solving daily grade I get anothe B again....
Forth : Next week going to be a stress week(tuesday math UT, Wednesday swimming lesson is on water work, Thursday Communication UT ) Everything like crash up like that.....
ARHHH....
Last is that this year world cup, I could not watch... Due to certain reasons....

2010-05-23T19:30:00.003+08:00

Sitting on a sofa in my bedroom under an environment that I love the most blogging. The time now is 7.31pm. The changing of the day is so beautiful. I like to look at this type of scene because it give me a very relaxing feeling.:)

So it been a month since my poly had started. Everything was well so far. And 4 more days to my first ever holiday in my poly life. Althought it is 2 weeks of holiday, I keep my time quite pack of course, test, camp, outing and of course oversea trip.
The first aid course in the coming June holiday is not confirm yet althought I applied for it earlier but no new was update to me so far.
My CPR test was confrimed on 6 June at kallang and I still need to study for my theory test too.
SHL camp was confirmed too. From 8 June to 10 June. Will left on 10 June early in the morning for my oversea waterfall trip if there nothing happen.
Class outing, now I think they changed the date and time and place for the outing already. I am not so sure. Not to check with them on Monday aa I skipped school for 3 days due to sicknedd.
Oversea trip was on 10 to 11 June. Hope to get lot of beautiful memories back. And of course, I hope I will be able to make it.

I am indeed looking forward to this holiday because I will be able to have time to go back to HKSS and of course, I will be even happier if I managed to accomplish all thos things I stated above.

Sometime I am asking myself that wheather I still fond of her or not? I reallly unable to answer the question.

Ok, back to my poly life, for the past 1 month, my lifestyle was indeed tiring but not as busy as i was in Secondary School. Don't know why... And almost everyday reached home about 7 or 8 plus. But sometime still reached home early at around 5 plus...
In RP there was still indeed a lot of thing for me to go and explore. And I am still adjusting my timing so that I can get into physical activity everyday.

I must not be a sloth. I must be as hardworking as what I was in the past....

2010-05-21T11:36:00.002+08:00

To be frank, this time I fall sick, it is the most serious sickness in my life.

In the past, whenever I fall sick, I took only a day to fully recover. But this time I took 3 days to recover. This time also the higher fever that I got. My temperature was so high such that it reached 38.8 degree.

2010-05-20T12:48:00.005+08:00

Today I was on MC again. Really seriosly ill.

Just now flip through some of my pictures. How I miss the past. In NCC, with all my Secondary school friends. The time with them was really fun. But it already past. It cannot be back again. That human life. We have to look forward. All those past memories can be keep in our mind. Despite having MC today, I will be going back to school later for my UT. Then I will be back home again. Not sure tomorrow will be going to school or not. Yesterday I had such a high fever that my temperature was 38.8 degree anf until today morning it dropped to 37.9 and 38 degree.

Shall post some of my past photos.

2010-05-19T21:35:00.003+08:00

Poly starte fo about a month already. And I was also down from sickness today.

Lesson in poly was fun and ejoying especially Thursdayand Friday leson. Very ast after next week I will be of for 2 weeks break. During the 2 weeks break, I will be having activities during the time.
3 June SHL activity(Kayakng)from 8am to 12pm
6 June my CPR test.
8 June ivolve in a SHL camp until 10 June but will leave the camp early inthe morning on 10 June to go formy oversea trip.

And I hoped all my frends was doing well in their poly or ite or privae O level.

Another week off!

2010-04-25T13:15:00.002+08:00

It had been quite long since I update...

Poly started last thursday(15 April 2010) Lesson was quite fun. I love the lesson on thursday very much... But to be frank, I find it too rush for us to have our Lunch + Presentation + Worksheet being done in 2 hours... After that, there still RJ evulation, quiz to be done after the lesson...

So my schedule for the upcoming week will be pack..
MONDAY: After lesson, I need to atend a talk then follow by doing all my homework before going home.
TUESDAY: I got a talk to attend during my lunch time and a meeting after my lesson then follow by doing my homewor.
WEDNESDAY: I can't remember what is my schedule already.
THURSDAY: Lesson + finish my homework then rush back to HKSS if possible.
FRIDAY:Lesson + homework + meeting Dzul...
SATURDAY: Mother Day's Celebration
SUNDAY: Mock test for my swimming...

I think I could not get sufficient sleeping hours for the coming week. + Not to forget I still need to do revision for my swimming test as well as regular exercise...

MISSING

2010-04-13T20:30:00.003+08:00

Now I missed my secondary school life
I missed the time where we were singing songs in the morning in the canteen
I missed the time we were going through our O and N level period
I missed the time where we were having our recess together
I missed the time where we were meeting up for coffee at night
I missed the time where we were having lesson together
I missed the time where we were having night lesson
I missed the time where we were studying at the coffee ship together
I missed the time whereby we were doing chin up
I missed the time during the sport day
I missed the time we were having fun together
I missed the time where we go home together
I missed the time when I was incharge of NCC
I missed the time having your encouraged
I missed the time you stand by my side
I missed the time when I was busy studying everyday
I missed the time that we were singing songs outside the classroom(Sec4)
I missed the time where we were supporting each other throughout the year(Long and Meng)
I missed the time wheree you are motivating me
I missed the time being company by Meng and having his supporting all the time
I missed the time of sadness together with you
I missed the time we were having camp(Sec3)
I missed the time whereby you were waiting for me and went home together after our work as a promoter and have a long and nice talk.

But all these misses can only become memories and stay in my mind. I will remember those time you guys being with me(Mostly is Hock Meng then follow by Jia Da) Thank you friends. I was really fortunate!

Felt like crying out!

2010-04-12T20:15:00.004+08:00

Today was the first day of orientation and I was quite emo... Because I don't know any of the people there. Felt so lonely but as time pass by, we get to interect more and I at least it is like a starting track with the new friends.

Of course during the orientation, there was some own time too and during that time I start to recall the seondary school life time with friends having fun time every morning. Wondering will we have the chance again? I also miss my time in secondary school. Hoping time will turn back! Soo that I can enjoy it again!

I missed my Secondary school time and friends!

2010-04-11T12:03:00.003+08:00

Persevere!!! Persevere!!! and Persevere!!!

I can go through 2 years of hard period, so I must be able to go through this few months of life saving despite it is physical demanding!! HARDWORK is the key!! Arhh!!! Everything that you want to achive there is a storm and after that it will be bright sunlight shiny on you again!! The STORM is the PROCESS and the BRIGHT SUNLIGHT SHING on you is the ACHIEVEMENT! Now I am facing the storm again and I hoped that I will able to learn some new things in the storm...

2010-03-25T21:15:00.002+08:00

Haiz, i think this is the 1st time I admit to my fate in my NCC and relationship because I feel thatno matter how hard I worked, it no going to work.

2010-03-24T18:24:00.003+08:00

不知道还有什么理由
我应该付出没有报酬
我们并肩而走勾不着你的手
把我的眼泪往心里流
把笑容换来细水长流
做个普通朋友我就在你左右
不是你的过不是你的错
也许都是我自己想太多
我不想执着
你可明白我走火入魔
不是你的过
不是你的错
可惜就是有这样的结果
你不要怪我
我会依旧继续再琢磨
直到有一天你属于我
不知道还有什么理由
我应该付出没有报酬
我们并肩而走勾不着你的手
把我的眼泪往心里流
把笑容换来细水长流
做个普通朋友我就在你左右
不是你的过
不是你的错
也许都是我自己想太多
我不想执着
你可明白我走火入魔
不是你的过不是你的错
可惜就是有这样的结果
你不要怪我
我会依旧继续再琢磨
直到有一天你属于我
我不能伤心撞我的头
我还是努力踢我的球
不管怎样难受我都会跟你走
我不会一生一无所有
除了你我才别无所求
不想腹水难收看着你眼泪流
不是你的过
不是你的错

2010-03-17T09:34:00.002+08:00

How I wished that the NCC CLT course was not cancelled. I totally felt sad upon receiving the letter about the cancelled of the course. Just now I sent an e mail to the NCC commandan about my stand and concern about cancelling of the course. But I don't know upon reading it, what will he think. I also not sure wheather he did think of what I stated in the e mail before?

So will the 59 intake be held again in April? I think the probability to held in April is much much much more lower than it will held in April. That is what I think. as it is a big Company, once it said that it is cancelled, it will be cancelled. Hardly to change their mind. But all I can sai is hope for the best!!!

Baskeball!!!

2010-03-13T15:45:00.005+08:00

Today went out for basketball leisure with TZY fot the whole morning. But to be exact, at first we play awhile only then went to eat something then back to the basketball court and rest before start playing again. Today my shooting accuracury was extremely good eccept that I am short of luck such that almost all my shots was deflect out from the ring. Maybe I am shooting out all my unhappiness ba. RELATIONSHIP FAIL, COURSE WAS CANCELLED, ALMOST ALL THE THING DID NOT WENT WELL FOR ME!!!

Picturses and videos were taken!!!

It's all fated!!!

2010-03-12T17:27:00.003+08:00

Arhh, my 59 CLT course was cancelled. I think the date is pushed back to November. Seem like the fate was making fun of me. The 1st intake of the CLT course, it was crashed with my diving. Now it was cancalled. Seem like god does not want me to carry on my NCC ba. Maybe it is impossibla for me and her already since now the course was cancelled, I does not had any reason to be back!!! FATE!!!

WILL I BE ABLE TO BE NCC OFFFICER??? IT WILL BE A DEPENDING ON FATE!!!

2010-03-06T10:59:00.003+08:00

Just start to feel that my life starting to get busy. Coming Wednesday(10 march) going down to RP with Lee for our enrolment. I also need to get a copy of my course starting date and ending date for my deferment of my NS as previously I deferment it under the course SPORT AND EXERCISE SCIENCES. But now I changing course to OUTDOOR AND ADVENTURE LEARNING. Thus need to do my deferment one more time.

YTD went to work at Airport for 2 hours plus then go home. Pay was $55. My total pay for 3 days was $130. Ytd went to watch 'Being Human' at LOT 1 with TZY. The show was funny. After that went to JP and TZY go post something then went for L4D2. After a game went back to Jp for dinnes then home sweet home. Actually today should go for BB with Tzy too. But I am so tired.

2010-03-02T09:43:00.003+08:00

Yesterday went to work fom 9 am until 2pm and earned $70. Went foe my medical check up after that and it cost me $50 including taking a jab. Up to today, my mound still a little bit pain.

Yesterday, called me swimming instructor at night and had some talked with him. Most likely I will be changing my instructor after passing my life saving 1 ,2 ,3. Now then I know that it is not possible for me to become a life guard so soon. I still had my BM and CPR to learn and after that, I will need to apply to be a life guard at a counter then I still need to go for another swimmming test and an interview. It was indeed a big blow for me that I could not get to be a life guard so soon. But some of my life guard friends intro me to be the PG at the swimming pool 1st. I think I will consider it 1st.

I missed her badly!!! That all I can say.

No longer a prefect guy anymore!!!

2010-02-28T17:56:00.004+08:00

Nowadays, I don't feel that I am a wonderful and a prefect guy anymore as compared to the past. What happened to me? Although I knew that I am no longer a prefect guy anymore, but why do I still feel that I am a fantastic guy?

I do hoped that when my poly start, I can become a better person.

Life is always about making decision.

Last time my CLT course and scruba diving crashed together and I had to make a decision as I can only go for 1 course.

After my diving, I need to make another decision again should I carried on my NCC?

And now I had to choose 2 courses given by the poly again. Upon receiving the JAE sms about my posting course that day, I was so excited as I managed to get into 1 of my ideal cousre although it is not my 1st ideal course in mind. And on that day I did not recive anymore sms about my JPSAE course which is OUTDOOR AND ADVENTURE LEARNING. I was sad that I failed the interview(At that time that was what I thought). I admit to my fate that I does not stand a chance in getting into my 1st ideal course (OUTDOOR AND ADVENTURE LEARNING) and accepted my JAE course (SPORT AND EXERCISSE SCIENCES) as I also did not recieved any sms from regarding the DAE too, in which I also applied Outdoor and adventure learning as my 1st choice and sport and leisure management as my second choice . As time passed by, I tend to forget about the OUTDOOR AND ADVENTURE LEARNING course. And friends also knew that my course was sport and exercise sciences. But to my surprised, yesterday when I recieved my package, I was given my ideal course. Which mean I passed the interview previously. 2 packages but 3 options.
JAE: Sport and exercise sciences
JPSAE : Outdoor and adventure learning
DAE: Sport and exercise sciences(third choice in applying)
And this time round, I need to make another decision in my life again.

Beside that, my poly school start also crash with my course for a few days. I need to make another decision to miss my course or my school. Another decision again!!!

Upon that, I felt that my current swimming instructor is dragging the time which mean I can no longer complete my life saving as early as I expected. Now I need to make another decision about changing to another swimming instructor as I had a talked with some of my life guard friend and they told me that my current instructor always like to drag.

Relationship just the same 1 word to describe myself."FAILURE"

Bad Day!!!

2010-02-27T20:06:00.003+08:00

Today is really a bad day for me!!! arhh!!!

Morning went to her home there intend to walk her to her rollerblade lesson. But no fate. That all I can say. Did not told her about it. Just want to give her a surprise. But in the end failed.
After that went to have my basketball training with TZY. Don't know why bothe of us is out of form today.

About evening time had a fight with my father.

Feel that will lose her(in which I don't really want but I can't control)

Emo!!!

2010-02-26T20:34:00.003+08:00

In other things, I maybe successful, but when it come to relationship, I always feel that I am a failure.
Regardless of what type of relationship.

In secondary school friendship, I feel that our bond will break off soon!!! It is very pity that having going through years of time together having fun time, sad time together but in the end the relationship just break off. Building is really damm hard but breaking it is easily. Really in this relationship, we had been helping each other encouraging each other. Despite not all of them make it to secondary 5, but those who make it to secondary 5 I really enjoyed the last lap of our O level exam. Despite tiring, Jia Da and I still studied together during night class, giving one another moral support. But I don't think it will happened again. Sometime I really would like to do something to hold the bond. But it is just out of my limit!!! When I really can't do anything, I will choose to let go. It maybe a sad decision. But I really do hope that this is a wrong feeling which mean our friendship bond is still there! All I can said is to hope for the best.

The so called 4 brothers, I think it's no longer there anymore. Especially when school start.

BGR relationship, I am always a failure. I really don't know what to say. Just felt disheartened and upset about it. She promised to sms with me tonight. But i sent her 2 sms already and did not get any reply until now. Is she lying to me? Sometime I really wondering that what should I do? She is really a very good girl. I really hope to have her!

The time that I enjoy very with you guy(all my secondary school friends)
(1) The time when we are having morning tea and sing song at the same time.(Sec 4 & 5)
(2) Having night class with Jia Da.(Sec 5)
(3) Studied together at the Mcdonald at Yuhua village there before our O level paper(Sec 5)
(4) Having night gathering for drinks
(5) Chelay time
(6) Jia Da birthday celebration (Sec 4 and 5)

:(

2010-02-25T14:25:00.001+08:00

Hello and byb byb!!! Not in the mood to write!!!

Another history!!!

2010-02-23T11:03:00.006+08:00

Why does it happened to me again? Again yet another failure in relationship!!! It gave me the feeling as the 2 pietures shown above :( Why do I fall into relationship trap this time round again? Why does my relationship keep failling again and again? Where does the problem lies? My feeling was like a smilling face but crying heart!!!

Another day gone!!!

2010-02-21T13:19:00.003+08:00

It is Sunday again.

So yesterday morning went to play basketball with jasper and TZY. After that went for lunch together before home sweet home!!! Reached home, took a bath before taking a short nap. After that went out again with TZY to play L4D then went for my job interview and then dinner before home sweet home!!!

At night alone at home, slacking and emoing lor...

Today morning overslept again. Slightly late for my swimming lesson which start at 9.30AM. Woke up, brush my teeth then wash my face then wear my swimming tide on and off to swimming pool for my lesson. have my breakfast on the way to the pool. Reached there, card no $$$ need t use cash to pay then still need to change coin for my locker. Took out my goggle + suntan materials and $50 for my fee then went for lesson. During lesson, 10 laps of free strokes then after that 1 lap of extended toe and 1 lap of chin toe then finally learn strata jump(don't know the spelling. Rough guess the spelling.). Lesson end went for suntaan then home sweet home.

How I wish school will start soon. I want to be busy and also use my work to numb off my failure in relationship!!! Arr!!!

Feeling moody!!!

2010-02-19T15:58:00.003+08:00

I really do not know why I felt moody today. Maybe I am tired ba. Or maybe I felt that she been giving me cold shoulder these 2 days. Maybe she busy!!! Really do not wish to talk about it. How I wished that my poly school had started. So that I can use work to numb myself in the failure of relationship again.!!! In my realtaonship, the same history always keep reapeting again and again and again!!!

Being alone, life is always bored...

Finally Post!!!

2010-02-18T11:17:00.003+08:00

It had been so long since I post... But saying the fact, I really do not know what to write on this post... :D

But my latest update is that I had confirm going for the upcoming CLT course intake. It will be a full 3 weeks course. Should I feel happy or sad? I hope that I can help HKSS to get a GOLD BUC upon I coming and after getting it, I intend to focus on my other interest...

I think that the course will crush with my 1st few days of school.

And ya, I forgot that I had been posted to Republic poly, diploma in sport and exercise sciences for my further education.

On the other hand, I will be retaking my O level English to get at least a C6 for it.

Another few things I hope are to complete my lifesaving by March, my life will get become busier again when my school start. Hehehe!!

I think not much thing to write ba... Shall end here!!!

2010-01-06T13:35:00.003+08:00

Have not update for a very long long time.

So now is 2010 year. I think that last year(2009) was a bad year for me. Does not have much achievement for that year.

But nvm. This year(2010), what am I going to do again? For relationship, I think I shall just let it be neutral. Ermm, after my O level result is out, I hope that it will be a good result.

Currently is my holiday. So I just intend to be a relief teacher after the release of my O level result. Hope it will come true. Next, I will put most of my attention in building of my body as well as swimming. During March holiday I may going for NCC CLT course. Not final decide yet. When poly school reopen, if I go for the CLT course, I think I will be more bus in which I expected. But there are several reasons I don't intend to carry on my NCC. So I don't know what will happened in the end. So in poly, I decide to take up 2 CCA if possible as well as putting my time into NCC if I carry on as CLT.

2009-12-12T19:21:00.004+08:00

Not posting my blog for quite a long time!!! LAZY!!!

Okay, lazy to talk about the diving theory thing, So damm long list !!!

But post 2 pictures of what we will be doing during the diving course!!!

Let talk about today, intend to go to aunt house to learn to bake cake for friend upcoming birthday... But her baby daughter was sick. So unable to teach me. Went for a swim in the afternoon since at that time the weather was very good.

Get to meet 1 of my primary school friend as a life guard. But good, I intend to be a life guard too but need someone to help me how to apply etc....

2009-11-28T11:37:00.004+08:00

Today is Saturday already. The weather today is similar as yesterday or better than yesterday for suntanning. But I will not be going for suntan today. Yesterday suntan until my skin change colour. Yesterday did not train my body as I went for swimming and I assured that the building of my muscle was done during swimming. except that at night train my six pats.

Today so far I did not do anything. But I think at night I will be having dinner alone outside then intend to meet up with Meng and Lee for leisure talk and fun. But depending on tonight.
Coming Monday will be back to work already. But I only intend to work for awhile only as I want to pursue my interest.

Previous post I said that I will update about what I learned during my diving course even though I withdraw half way. I recommend you guy that take diving as your leisure activities that all. For me also the same. But you must know some basic thing about diving.

The 4 Laws
- Boyles' law (When temperature is kept constant, volume of gas and pressure is inversely proportional)
- Charles' law (Pressure is kept constant, volume of gas and temperature is direct proportional)
- Daltons' law (When pressure is increased, nitrogen concentrated in body also increased)
- Henry law (Temperature constant, pressure increased, more gas is soluble in fluid)

The 4 pressures
-Amtospheric (Pressure that exert on the surface (14.7(1bar)))
-Guage (Current pressure - Atmospheric pressure)
-Absolute (Pressur at the depth)
-Ambient (Presssure underwater)

-Sound travel faster 4 times faster in water
-Human loses heat 25 times faster underwater
-The 7 rainbow colours will look another colour underwater
-Object will seem nearer and bigger underwater

Result of 2 factors in diving (1) Weight of water surrounding and above the diver
(2) Weight of atmospheric over that water

Archimedes' principle is when an object is whally or partially immersed in a liquid.

Think I will stop at here for today. All those thing I need to memorise during th course and need to score at least 80% for the test. There still alot more thing I still need to memorise as well as some medical thing.

Disappointed that I could not complete the course!!!

2009-11-25T15:28:00.003+08:00

Withdraw from my diving course already. Feel sad but I know that it is the right decision. Because I choose life rather than honour. I really gave it a serious though last night. Although I withdraw from the course half way, but I don't think that I am wasting my time. Because I get the experience of diving and learn what the diver do.

Now, reason that I withdraw because I am still not use to breath using my mouth only. Over the time I start to lose my CONFIDENT and get NERVOUS. Even though I tried breathing using the cylinder with regulator in the water today morning again, and there was improvement but I still decided to withdraw because I lose my confident previously and even if I did well in the 1m pool, I cannot did it in the 4m pool as I need a longer time to get my confident back.

But what I want to share now is that diving is not as easy as you think. For me, I felt that diving was easy. But upon attending the course,it is really toughter. Diving is very PHYSICAL AND MENTALLY DEMANDING. For me, physical I can endure with it. But mentally depend on individual.

Shall update about what I learned during the course come other day.

1st day had end

2009-11-21T11:08:00.003+08:00

Looking forward to the end of the course on 4 dec 2009. Still have 2 weeks to go.
But I can't withdraw now. Because it is fun and also my dream and interest. But it also bore when I have no people in same school with me on th course.

Ytd during the course, having theory lesson the whole day. Must pass a theory test before we can go for a sea diving. But it seem like the theory test will be hard. Must pass by 80% before can go.

Another thing is that we still have a few practical tests. I only remember 1 is circular don't know what la. That test is very physical demanding. Swim in the sea then climb up to the shore then run to the staircase and the stairs then do tower jump then must swim to another end then climb up then run to the start point then repeat the whole processes again another 2 times. Must do the whole processes 3 times before 21 minutes in our wet suit. taking a fin.

Then next is the theory test. Need to know the 4 types of pressures and many more thing la. Eg: oxygen toxicity, what do we need to do. Carbon dioxide toxicity what do we need to do. Carbon monoxide toxicity what we need to do. Beside that, we still need to know the symptoms effects everything.

Tomorrow need to meet at 9.30 to book in together then book out on thursday ir Friday depend on the pace. I will sure feel home sick one when alone...Haiz

But after next weeks, the happiness will start to fill in le. Because the course is going to end soon.

What do I feel now?

2009-11-19T14:42:00.003+08:00

Haiz, tomorrow is the start of my diving course. Feel sian and happy now.

Sian because it is a stay in course. Stay in for about 2 weeks and should have nothing to do at night for about 4 or 5 hours. Sian because need to wear SMART 4 to book in and out. Sian because I am alone for this course.

Happy because able to go diving.

But overall, more sian than happy.

But used to it. Everytime on course, feel sian at the start but enjoyable on second or third day onward. Feel sad when the course is ending. For this course, I do not know how will I feel in the end. But hope to have the feeling of the other courses.

2009-11-04T16:32:00.002+08:00

Most of my GCE O level papers had come to an and. I felt happy and excited as expected.

How will I rate the paper?
I feel that some of the paper is below what I had expected. It all depend on my performances on the spot. Now what I can hoped is that I can do well for all the paper in which, I can hit the target that I set. All I can do is to hope for the best. Hoped that my long run of hardwork allow me to scored well in my GCE O level as well as defeat them. My happiness will add on if I can see that my hardwork really pay off. Hope for my L1R4 to be 15 or less and L1R5 to be 18 or less. But once again, all I can is to hope for the best!!!

On 20 Nov will be on course until 4 dec. # weeks on course. A bit sian. Sad that I have withraw for CLT due to the crash was too many days. Think that I will not be back as a cadet officer anymore.

2009-10-25T14:24:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow is my second O level paper. And this paper also determine my destiny. Hope that I can pass all my O level paper well ... See ya.

2009-10-19T14:33:00.004+08:00

Back from my final selection test. Althought I passed the test, I felt happy but also very sad at the same time.
Felt happy because most likely I will be able to make it to scroba diving course.
Felt sad because upon attending scroba diving course, I will not be able to go for CLT course in December. Therefore, most likely I will end my NCC as a 1st sergent. Althought there is another intake for CLT course in March, I will not consider going for that intake because it was too late as in a few weeks time my poly lesson will start and I can't help out in NCC anymore as my lesson will end at 4pm daily.

Bit I think I really really had to end my NCC soon.

I find it difficult to choose between these 2 courses. What the point when I get my scroba diving badge when I could not wear it anymore. Haiz... What should I do??????

Another new about scroba diving make me sian sia. I need to book in and stay throughout the course. But can book out during holiday.

2009-10-18T10:57:00.007+08:00

Back to update once again.

My Secondary School life had ended last Friday(16/10/2009). I felt sad and happy at the same time.

I felt happy because I hope that after getting a good O level result, I can process to another level of my education which is poly.

I felt sad because beside getting my result next year, most likely I will not be coming back to Hong Kah anymore in NCC. These 5 years in Hong Kah there are happy and sad moment.But it had all became memories but those moment is the moment I will remember it forever. Saying the fact, Hong Kah is really a good school to me. It had changed me a lots.

There are a lots of teachers that I really want to thank. But I will do it when I get my result back next year.

I hoped that I will really get a fantastic result that I want which is 12 point or below for my L1R4 .

2009-10-10T21:20:00.003+08:00

Time fly so fast. There still 2 more weeks to my O level examination. Hope that my hard work throughout the year will be pay off with the result that I want which was getting around 12 points for my L1R4.

Think I shall end here. byb!!!

2009-10-03T20:21:00.005+08:00

Back to post again about my feeling & my thought!

Got back all my prelim results. But I am not happy with it. I willl put in much more efforts. Last round so must persever persever and persever!!!

2009-09-18T13:43:00.004+08:00

If you wonder off too far, my love will get you home
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home boy my love will get you home
If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home
If your troubles break your strive , my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home boy my love will get you home
If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home
If there's only you to blame, my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home boy my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home boy my love will get you home

My feeling was simailar to what is aing in this song nowaday.

2009-09-13T15:56:00.003+08:00

Wa, so fast, my GCE O level just in 1 month time. I feel that my preparation is still not enough. Heart start to bounce faster and faster. I really hope to get a very good result + I also don't want to lose to them.

what should I do?

2009-08-29T11:46:00.000+08:00

Finally the 1 of the tiring week had come to an end.

2009-08-20T17:20:00.003+08:00

Felt disappointed after geeting back my MT result. Totally felt dismotivateed, dismoralise and lose now. Thinking why will I get this type of result back despite my hardwork.

But I must control my emotion. This week still need me. How I missed my past. It's the timethat I was so high and enjoyable. For example like the last year during Nation Day's celeberation. I and Jia Da was extreme high. Singing all the song shouting around. Due to H1N1 this year, we won't get to enjoy that moment anymore.

I hope that finally in the end, I can still make it to poly with my good result. I must bear with all the problems that I faced now.

But I'm still feeling very upset when my hardwork does not pay off. Somtime thinking of giving up.

2009-08-15T22:10:00.003+08:00

Yo guy , sorry about no updating for so long .

Had been busy and tiring nowadays . Sadness also . But I must controlled my emotion . Grandpa will bless me .

It will be so nice to be back in the past where I can get alots of love , care , concern etc . Although I missed the time with them , but there is no longer a chance to be as good as the past . What gone is gone it will not come back .

I shall end here ba . Nothing to write about .

2009-07-10T19:42:00.004+08:00

It had been quite sometime since I post . Ya , this week on Monday is Youth Day holiday . Therefore no school . SAD SAD missed 2 weeks of my PE lesson . I LOVE PE VERY VERY MUCH . But I still did some study at home .

Tuesday , also nth much happened in school . After school having my O level MT Oral . Passage was alright . But for the conversation's , I was taken a back . It was regarding plastic surgery . But I still can answer it . If I belonged to day 2 , it will be so lucky . Came out Youth Olympic .

Wednesday , I was absent from school due to slight flu . CCA record was given out and yet I was not there to check my record . All I got the update was from Jia Da that I got an A1 . Not really surprise to me . But for Jia Da , A2 . Quite sad ... Although I was not feeling so well , but still did a bit of revision .

Thursday , went back to school , got back individual CCA record . At least , I manage to find a way to push Jia Da CCA grade to A1 ... Also nothing much happened . After school , stayed back to do my D&T artifact . Finishing of gluing my acyclic on to the frame . Making was done and went to drill the hole for LED bulb . Very surprisingly , the acyclic crack when I was drilling . Reason being the drilling machine was too powerful . Therefore , hand drill was use in the end . Mr Toh drill 2 holes and end the day work as everybody were very tired . My crack acyclic piece will be replace . At night after finished my mountain of homework , I went to build my body instead of sleeping .... Wahahaha ....

Friday , during lesson time , nothing much happened . Only during physic lesson . Mr Chan was still so funny like the past ... Except that my body muscle ache due to yesterday night training session . But I will still continue tonight . Because I am body builder siao ... Lolz ... After school , went to find Miss Ang for Jia Da CCA record and after that stayed back to do my D&T artifact again . The cracked acyclic was indeed replaced . I start by redoing all my marking . After that Mr Toh do the drilling holes for me . And yet , there still crack even if we use the hand drill . But still manage to cover up . After that , I do the LED wiring and soldering . Target to finish it by today . but I did not make it . :-( But never mind . At least still got the 'L' need to be done . Should be quite fast . And thank man Irfan for your help if not I will not finish my 'Y' so fast .
We both got hurt by the solder .after that , my left hand was damm weak sia ... End my d&t at around 5 include jointing down some length for my homework on the weekend .

2009-06-22T09:49:00.005+08:00

Woke up early this morning . Just for updating .

Holiday going to end in a few more days time . This week I need to really buck up . Still feel that I am still slacking ... Oh man .... What am I going to do ?

Perseverance , hard work , determination , winning fighting and high standard of discipline is what I need fully now .

If I want to make some of my wish come true , I need all these thing state above .

But just a few more months to go . No giving up . No matter how tough it is . No matter how lonely it is . Nothing can stop me . Even if I fall down now , I must still carry on my path that I had choose . NO PAIN NO GAIN !!! After I reach my destination , I will feel thrilled ...

When it become the most difficult situation/time , think of the ending . The happy , proud and honour ending . It will make me more perseverance .

I will not think of anything now except the thing that going to happened in about a few more months time .

2009-06-21T08:34:00.003+08:00

Hmm , it's been so long since I update . Updating about holiday ...

I feel that I been slacking more than studying . But at least I did finish my homework .

And my CS higher record is DE_dust2 30 matches without being killed . Try breaking it ...

Did not chat with her this few days .
I just feel that she will not reply . Don't know what she want . I don't know what to do ....

SO just force for this last few months .

2009-06-05T21:01:00.003+08:00

Finally the NCC annual camp this year had end . There will be no more chance for me to attending the annual camp as a cadet anymore ... Quite sad although .

Don't know whether will I have any more chances to attend the NCC annual camp again . Hopeful I will go for the CLT course .

Missed my NCC days .
Missed all my memories when I was a NCC cadet
Missed the period of the times of those courses that I had attended

Anyway , during the 1st day of the camp , my times was very tight . So I had to give up going to the East Coast Park with them . Very sad though . I missed the fun .
2nd days , I did not followed any of the parts out as I helped Mr Lawrence with the Power Point of the Part D pictures . After that ORD night the same feeling , SAD . Seeing one badge after another badge passed out . 4 years of NCC had end . At night , after the ORD night , they had some confident walked . I also not so sure about it . Then followed by supper . But crop up . Not everybody managed to drink . Anyway , after that went back to our bunk (D&T Theory) room . Doing my maths homework . and joke a bit with Mr Lawrence and Miss Ang .
3rd day , woke up late as I was too tired . Missed some parts of their PT . Had my breakfast , supposed to go for my D&T structure lesson . In the end chat with Miss Ang in the bunk for quite long . Finally left and went for my D&T . Mr Toh was not here . Therefore having some troubles making my artifact . After that around 5 home sweet home .

Things happened these past few days .

1st , I was qualified for the 2nd selection test (basic scroba diving course)
2nd , Was surprised to see her on the 2nd day of the camp in school . want to said good byb to her but seeing her with her friends , then did not go and said .
3rd , I managed to finish at least my maths homework .

2009-06-02T20:03:00.003+08:00

我真的很喜欢你甚至很爱你

如果给我一个机会，我真的会好好地珍惜你，我真的会

可是我想我应该没有这个机会吧？

我真的不知道你愿不愿意给我这个机会

我真的不想失去你

2009-05-30T13:04:00.005+08:00

Holiday coming . But no holiday for me in the 1st week of the holiday as my day is pack of things .

Coming Monday will be my Chinese GCE 'O" level paper .
Tuesday I still need to report back to school for my structure lesson ( Chemistry )
Wednesday I will not be able to go for my structure lesson due to my selection test . After my selection test , I will be heading back to school for my dentist check up in which I change the date . Then after that , most likely I will be staying in school for the NCC camp . Looking after them not joining them studying at the same time .
Thursday , I intend to wake up early to study and go for my structure after that . After structure , I will be going home 1st then come back .
Friday the same as Thursday . But will not be coming back to school .

There is 1 thing that I feel odd . It is Wednesday , I will need to report in NO 4 for my selection test . Quite odd . Confirm I will be very tired the 1st week of the June holiday . Especially Wednesday . I need to report before 7.30am at Tamah Merah MRT station .

About this week , got back my report slip . Gonna chong already during my June holiday . Although 3rd in class but I feel that the result is dam bad .

Anyway I shall end my post here . Hope to get her wish and luck for the coming Monday GCE 'O' level exam ...

Wednesday I still need to report alone . Go for the selection test alone . Haiz lonely is what I felt most of the time . But I must not give up . 1 of my dream is to go diving in the sea . ...

2009-05-24T08:22:00.003+08:00

Got all my mid year results back . Although I may passed some of my subjects , but I don't think that I passed well enough except for my social studies .

My English paper overall failed . I got 47/100 for the overall which is a D7 . But just a few more mark . to get a C6 . Hope that I will get a C5 for my O level which is my target .

My Chinese paper 2 I failed by half mark . But overall I still passed but passed badly .

My Maths , Don't need to said . I failed . Problem lied in my time management during the exam . I will do something about it .

Chemistry and Physic , I passed both the papers but not so good .

D&T I do not want to said about it . I failed .

Combine Humanity Geography I hust passed . So much buck up already . Social Studies , I passed quite well . But still must put in hardwoks .

Although I am quite sad about my result , but I don't think I should feel Feel sad anymore . E+R=O What does this mean ? Event + Respond = Outcome !!! Since it already happened , I must do something to prevent it happened again .

Life there is a up and a down . If there is no up and down in your life , you will not become a better person . If there is no down , you will not be able to clomb to a higher level . But most importantly is that when you are down , don't ever think of give up . Because give up = 100% fail . But if you persever , at least there still a chance to win although it may be a 50% : 50% !!!

I think I shall end here . See ya !!!

2009-05-14T13:31:00.003+08:00

Back to update since I had nothing much to do as my mid year exam had just end . Seeing Desmond post , he said that everybody leaves us alone . I also had the same feeling . Now even become more lonely ..

Yesterday I got my application for my scroba diving this year . I'm not sure will I be able to join in this year ? I need to have my eye sight been check first as my eye degree had increased :-( Last year I did not managed to go for the course because the HQ crop up and I missed my 2nd selection test . And this year if I manage to go , I will be going alone again . But of course I wish to go as going under water is 1 of the thing that I want to do in my life .

Now I'm secondary 5 taking "O" level this year . I'm very scare that I could not make it . I really do not wish to go to ITE . I think I will shut myself soon to concentrate on all my subject . But the timing will depend on my D&T artifact .

I been stating that I would like to go for NCC CLT course . But sometime I does not feel like going as I may go alone again . Which mean I had to be lonely again for 3 weeks . But thinking of after going through the 3 weeeks , it will be so honour to get the rank already . I really want to help Hong Kah NCC unit to achieve a GOLD for their BUC but thinking of the 3 weeks course , I need to be so lonely . But I can also make friends there . But the 1st day will still be difficult to spend .

Haiz I really do not know what to do sometime . Similar with Desmond , I can said that I'm in a lost .

2009-05-13T09:53:00.001+08:00

What should I do ? Can somebody help me or tell me ???

2009-04-15T19:43:00.006+08:00

Specially sign in to update today . There are 2 things that I would want to write it down . 1 is sad thing another is a happy thing .

Okay let talk about the happy thing first . This coming Sunday is her birthday . 1stly wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I going to treasure this chance . So friend wish me good luck :-)

2ndly the sad thing is , I may be a person with strong perseverance , determination etc . However , this time I need to said this word again . It is ' I GIVE UP ' . Yes it another relationship again . Not BGR but given up on somebody . It happened on me in the past , now it happened back at me again . I think in future , you turn good or bad I don't think that I will be able to help you again .

The person that I am giving up now is noboday but my god mei mei . Michelle , I'm sorry . Gor fail to fuilfull my promise to you . Gor give it a serious though that by letting you go will be the best solution for our relationship to go well . I'm sorry ... Because to me , it seem like you are shy when seeing me . So I don't think the point of carry on our brother sister relationship . I hope that Hock Meng now will be able to help you .

Meng I'm sorry . We lose to them yet again . And more worst is that you lose your sister . I'm sorry I could not help you in anything . But when it come to work I'm still the best person to seek for . But relationship haiz .

2009-04-10T18:35:00.004+08:00

This week nothing much happened . Except that Tuesday PE lesson was actually a surprise for us . We did NAFA test 2.4 on that day instead of chin up . Anyway my timing was quite good . 10 minutes and 49 seconds . Extra 19 more seconds . If not I would have achieve the timing that I set for myself which is 10 minutes and 30 seconds or below . Sad :-( about it . I want to get 30 points which is also full point for my NAFA this year . But it seem to be hard . Nowadays I seldom exercise and I still need to tackle the sit and reach and 2.4 which I'm always lose out . Anyway the 2.4 that was taken on Tuesday , I was ranked 6th in the class . Yeah at least top few la ... Oh ya by the way , I also did not went for my NCC training yesterday because I'm really too tired as I does not had so much time to complete my homework . Thus I get less sleep just to complete my work and end up very tired . Really very sorry to all the teacher officer .

Anyway my exam is just around the corner . Should be 2 more weeks to my mid year exam . And next Sunday is her birthday already .

Okay I shall end my post about this week at here . As I does not have so much mood to update today .

Today weather is raining day .But my life was as usual alone in a dark road . I give me the feeling that I am walking alone in the dark and quiet road . But the problem lies with me . Actually I had friend around . But because I'm not give in to all my relationship and in fact I expect them to give in to me . That was the reason why I'm still in the lonely road . But I can't change it . I'm a person who put thing before my relationship . Sometime wondering what I should do for my relationship !!! Even with my god sister , our realtinship really damp bad .

2009-04-03T18:14:00.005+08:00

Since I had already update about Monday and Tuesday , I shall update about Wednesday onward for this week .

Wednesday

1 April 2009 . It the April Fool day . The first thing I get when I reach school is I been bluff by an APRIL FOOL joke -.- Lesson was as usual that day . Except that our geography structure start even later but luckily change back to 3.30 pm . But in the end we were released after 4.15 pm ...

Thursday

Lesson was usual too but Jia Da did not attend school . During NCC , the moment I reach authorium , all the cadets was there and the 4 teacher officer too . I was shocked at that time because only I the senior alone ... But the moment I want to went down to the canteen to called Han Xin up , I was being caught by LTA (Mr) Lawrence Che to help him clip the slide . Training that day end much early , around 5 plus due to all the spec had speech day rehearsal .

Friday

The first lesson I had is English and we had a test to do today . After that lesson was as usual . After school met Audrey to give her some advice then went for my Chinese structure . Finish my test , I went out of school to have my lunch . After that came back to school , went to library for my D&T coursework check for all the graduating student . And in the end , I think both the ' N ' level and ' O ' level art student have their coursework being checked first then I think follow by F&N and finally D&T . And they said check check check , sound like so serious like that and in the end D&T students actually did not had their journey been check . Feel like being Bluff .

Tomorrow Saturday , Zi Yang got lesson with a relief teacher . I think it is every Saturday morning . So we meet to play basketball this Sunday and I think it also apply to every week . But I don think I can make it on Sunday morning next week on ward :-( Shall update farther information next week ....

2009-03-31T11:13:00.003+08:00

Tody specially update . Because I had nothing to do . So unlucky . Fall sick on the first day and second day of school . Do not know what our school band SYF got . Gonna work harder this week . Miss 2 days of lesson . Think maybe busy this whole week because I need to catch up those thing I missed during the 2 day . Shall end here ba . need to go study already .

Byb Byb Maybe I shall update again on this coming friday night .

2009-03-27T19:26:00.003+08:00

This week start of the term 2 . Very fast the school holiday end .

Monday & Tuesday

This week can said that it was the most lucky week I had seen I got to known her(Joyce Chua Xin Tian ). Met her on my way to school on Monday and Tuesday . Had a bit of talk with her . Anyway Monday and Tuesday nothing much happened too . By the way I did not bought my LED for my D&T and was highly expected to get a lecture from Mr Toh . But to my surprised , I did not get a lecture and in fact I was luck that I did not follow his instruction . If not my D&T course work will cost me a total of at least $280 dollars . The Led light he asked me to but is the big one and it cost $71 . And I need 4 of that . And after some talk with Mr Toh , I buy another LED light which is a bit smaller but it still similar as the previous one . And it costs $60 and all the things I need is already inside .

Wednesday & Thursday

Wednesday , after school got geography structure . I did not went for the structure and I inform Mrs Indra about it with a reason . And she accepted my reason . I also ask Jia Da to take the worksheet(s) for me for the structure(if there is) . See I am so responsible ... Went down to Bugis just to brought the D&T LED light . Intend to went to poly clinic to get my letter for having difficulty in speaking well due to some problem . Thus I went down to poly clinic on Thursday . At the poly clinic I waited very long just to take a letter . You imagine that a 2 hours plus of waiting . Anyway went for my CCA late too ...

Friday

Wa now then I know about Hock Meng problem . Seem like I'm the last few to know sia . Today nothing much happened too . Only can said that I went for jogging int he evening . Sprint for 4 labs(350 km per labs)then stopped already . Not much mood to sprint anymore . Tomorrow mornig shall go to play basketball with friends again . Yeah !!! 1 week did not played already . Hope that tomorrow there will be people to play match against .

I think I shall end here for this week . I may not update for the next few week because Mid Year exam are coming . Need to study already .

Hope that I will be able to goes to school with you everyday !!!

2009-03-21T18:47:00.004+08:00

This week although is a holiday week . But to the graduating student is just a normal school day . For me I need to went back to school from Monday to Friday . Worst is Friday . Need to stay until 5 pm like that . But lucky all the D&T students went to NUS to view all the project winner journey . Therefore Friday our lesson end at 11 am instead of 5 pm .

Talk about today . Early in the morning went to Sim Lim tower to get my project LED . But I did not buy it in the end . Monday sure get a lecture from Mr Toh . Anyway he ask me to buy the one that cost $71.20 . But I had some doubt about it so I did not buy first . Anyway most likely I will get a lecture .

Anyway this one week holiday , I been wasting most of my time . Very regret . But I just does not have the mood to study .

I think I will end my this week post at here .

How is she anyway ?

2009-03-14T18:30:00.003+08:00

It weekend again . Having a 1 week holiday break the next week . But to me , it just school time also . This year is my last year in school . I hope that I can spend this whole year meaningfully . I hope I can also help those teacher as much as I can especially my CCA(NCC) I may not be back as a CLT to help Hong Kah in fact I may go to other school so I would like to help out with Mr Lawrence and Mr Ng as much as I can .

I heard from Irfan yesterday (13 March 2009) after our D&T structure that Hong Kah NPCC this year get a Gold for their BUC(Best Unit Competition) . But NCC get silver for the BUC(Best Unit Competition) . But to me I think that getting a gold although is not as simple as it is , but strategy and support is all the things that I need . And by the way , I think that Hong Kah NCDCC will be getting gold for their BUC(Best Unit Competition) soon ...

Anyway shall update about this week . Nothing much happened . But very sad about the crop up in NCC . Did not went swimming but went to West Coast instead . Really very sad . I had been looking forward to this day .

Friday , Mdm Sharifah not in school . But luckily we still manage to get our report slip . Did quite well . It will be very good if that is my GCE "O" level result . But sadly it is not . Going to study hard for my "O" level ...

Today(14 March 2009) , mornig went to play basketball with friends . But everytime the 3 of us . So bore ... Really .

Ya next week , holiday weeek . Going to spend most my holiday studying and doing my D&T course work . Not sure wheather Zi Yang will ask me out on which day . Because last time he did ask me . But I'm not sure about it now . Hopefully that during this March holiday , I can do some volunteerary work . Had been wanting to do it but I alway could not make it .

I think I shall end here . See ya

I'm confirm that I still like her !!!

2009-03-06T19:34:00.004+08:00

Hello guy , I'm back to post again . This week is such a good week that I forgot all the small detail on Monday to Wednesday as Thursday is such a honour day for me .

Thursday is our annual track and field meet . This is also my last annual track and field meet as a Hong Kah Secondary School student . This year is also my first time become house captain . Next year will be the youth Olympic such that our annual track and field this year is very special . All the house captain need to take the torch and run relay . And I'm the first runner , taking the torch running in and pass it to the next house captain . And because last year Omega get last that why I am the first runner and I also need to run one run .

Secondly after 15 years , Omega finally get champion in the annual track and field meet . I'm the captain of the house feel more honour again . I'm the first omega captain that bring omega to the champion ... :-) And of course credit is not me alone . Mr Wong and other house teachers also put effort in it . Next year I will be back to help omega again ... Hopefully can . Oh ya , Cherly foo ( jie ? ) also came too . Finally omega won the champion really very happy .

Today Friday , Mrs Chong didn't come for lesson . Think she is going on a course . The rest of the lesson was usual . After school Chinese test finish the last as I start late too . Of ya , get to see my overall Chemistry result 90/100 . A great achievement . :-) After school last minutes decided to went for swimming due to the very good weather .

Tomorrow morning go play basketball with friends then go home bath eat my lunch and finally studies . Sunday also intend to spend the whole day studying .

Oh ya after the Thursday annual track and field meet , Jia Da alway say that I and somebody very "pei " ... Lol . But maybe that the fact . Because he is a third party that why easier for him to conclude .

Shall end here .

Byb Byb ...

Do I still love her ????

2009-02-27T23:10:00.006+08:00

This week the common test week finally pass . Been so tired of studying everyday for my test .
At least all my suffer was worst . Hope it will also worst for my 'O' level too . Really I was so busy this week that I had no time to do my D&T course but lucky I finish most of my journey .

Monday geography test result 18/20
Tuesday social studies test have not taken my result back yet but I think I will not be the top few in class .
Wednesday Maths test result 30/35 . ! question I forget how to do sad :-( 2 questions I make a stupid careless mistake next time be careful ... A must ... Cannot repeat all this stupid mistake during my 'O' level exam .
Thursday physic test have not taken the result back yet
Friday Chinese test result not taken back yet .
Tuesday to Friday also did a English test hope I can do well ...

Ho ho ... Shall carry on my update ... Sorry that I was too tired that I update half way ... yesterday night also went for cheer leading practise . I think on the actual sport day there stress for me :-( Turning the girl wa siao

Anyway time passes too fast now term 1 is ending in 2 weeks time . Hope that the coming week won't be too stretch for me ...

2009-02-21T20:58:00.005+08:00

Today went for event in the mornig last minute put me into long jump then now I do not have 100 m event anymore because each person can only have 3 events .

My actual events are
: 1) 100 m
: 2) 200 m
: 3) Long Jump
: 4) 4 time 100 m

Then change alots of times .

So my final event are
: 1)200 m
: 2) Long jump
: 3) High jump
: 4) 4 time 100 m
: 5) Cheer leading

Today event 200 m I got 3rd position if I'm not wrong . Almost get a 2nd position
Then for my long jump I get 5th position . did not totally put my heart in my last jump as my 200 m event going to start . So at least a 5th is good enough . Haha Kai Lin say that her long jump got 1st pro sia .

after finish my event I went straight to play basketball play awhile only my muscle wanteed to cram so I stoped playing . Tomorrow morning going to play again .

Being a leader is really not a simple thing . Although it is hard I will treat it as some enjoyable thing ba .

Still quite miss her now !!!

2009-02-20T20:50:00.010+08:00

Yo if today I don't update , I think need to wait till next week then can update already .

As usual , at school I was lonely as usual . However I glad that I'm able to pull a total number of 19 chin up at one go now .

On monday , lesson was as usual nothing crop up except the after school structre . Lesson as usual except english and CME as Mdm Sharifah not here but for me I still need to go to library for my english lesson with Mr Pavan . After school went for chemistrry structure . At night I just prepare abit of my Wednesday geography test and end my day at 9 plus .

Tuesday lesson was also as usual except that after school I went for modular sport instead of my English structure and anyway our english teacher is absent on that day . During PE lesson play volley ball finally get to know how to play the basic .So easy to play . Hehe ... At night by right I was actually to study for my geography test that was on wednesday but I spend the whole night reading comic and end my day at 9.45 pm .

Wednesday reach school late as school start late . Was so surprise that geography teacher Mrs Indra was absent that mean there still more time for me to study geography test . I must get high mark for my geography test too . After school also no structure for me too as geography teacher not here . :-(

Thursday was also as usual went to library to do my work after school . I think I'm getting less and less committe to Hong Kah Secondary School NCC already . Because bith Jia Da and me felt so dishearted toward NCC already . Make it clearer is that if we get our CLT rank I don't think the chance of both of us coming back is high . Reach home bath and eat then do my homework .Wa do much homework ... And I end my day at around 10 pm .

Friday was usual too except that there crop up in the english lesson . This was also our last english lesson with Mr Pavan . After school went for my chinese structure .Did a chinese lettter writting a test too . After finish went slack abit then went for my D&T at com lab 1 .Left at around 5 pm then went to hall to see the house . In the end I take high jump and get don't know 5th or 6th position very sad :-( So now I'm out of long jump already .

Saturday tomorrow got heat 200 m .Not feeling so well do not know I can run very well tomorrow or not . Hope that I can get 1st .

Coming saturday and sunday I have this amount of things to do
1) Study for my geography test
2) Math homework
3) Math revision
4) English homework
5) D&T 6 pages of ideation
6) Study for my social studies test
7) Tomorrow (21/2/2009) sport heat
8) Study my physic test
9) Revise my chemistry and physic
10) Swimming
11) Exercise
12) Social studies homework
13) Study for my math test

So many thing to do . I think I'm unable to finsh all or maybe I'm can finish all but no time to rest . I miss her dearly but since I choose to give up , I will not sms her and anyway she also don't care about me . Even if I sms her she also will not reply . Sometime wondering am I really that bad ? why do I lose to him in alot of thing and I also lose to my friend in alot of things ?

Then about my sister and brother relationship with Cheryl Foo , I think it is coming to an end . What she give me is that she treat other people better than me . What am I the brother so call to her ? And I think I let go .

And I also feel that in the end of the day after taking my "O" level result , I know that I will Be lonely again . I know that most likely even if I get a very very good result I will just feel happy within myself only . This success of mine won't be able to share around with my friend .

I think I shall end here .

I miss and love you . you should know who you are !

2009-02-14T19:27:00.002+08:00

I 'm back to ost again . Shall alway study nowaday . Won't get to update too often nowaday .

Give up give up is the only thing I can do to her .

This week not a good week :( Been scolded by that bloody steven toh . But at least now feel better .

Haiz today is valentine day very sad that nobody spend with me ...

Anyway Happy valentine day to everybody ...

Hope that my coming week will be better ...

forget about 1 thing nowaday I cannot slack anymore . Must train very hard already . House master Mr Wong put me in so many event .Should be 5 events altogether .
1st event is 100m
2nd event is 200 m
3rd event is high jump
4th event is long jump
5th event is 4 time 100 m (the event that I want .

Hope I can get top for all the event so that I won't feel letting Mr Wong down ...

2009-02-08T09:09:00.002+08:00

Hey sorry guy/lady , I think it is around 1 week plus I did'nt undate my blog already .

Anyway reason being I was caught with alot of school work . However I still update finally despite no finishing my work yet . My Engligh project sure take away alot of my time plus I still got D&T too .

Ermm , last week had quite a number of test . Chemistry test , maths test and chinese test . Got back all my paper on friday . Did quite well for 2 papers and fail 1 paper :( . Maths test result I get 30/40 , chemistry test result I get 21/25 , Chinese is the test that I fail hehe I only get 13.5/30 .

Hmm so my study since school start till now is still able to cope . CCA still can cope too

The only thing that trouble me is my relationship . Since this year my relationship with some friend have not been very well . Beside that I also don't know what to do about her ??? Relationship give me a headache . I have been thinking shall I give her up ? And this question answer is only a yes or a no . But I still can't decide what will my answer be .

However if you all still ask me I still love her or not I can only answer you it a yes . Even though I can see that the chance of us being together is very slim but I really hope that a mirrael will happen soon .

Oh by the way , now I manage to do 18 chin up at 1 go . My success for this week . I aiming to do a number of 20 chin up coming week . Hope soon that I will be able to break our school record(27) and set a new record of 30 to 35 .

I shall end here .

Have a week and take care !!!

Hao Xiang Ni!!!

2009-01-27T15:53:00.005+08:00

New Year about to pass.

Hmm alot of things for me to do during the 2 days of holiday.Althiugh it is very tiring but I prefer this type pf life comapre to a life that have alot of time but nothing to do.

Time flies away again.Getting 1 year older.Seeing my childhood photo,I still prefer to be like the past.Because when I was a child,some many people dote on me so much.Doing thing does not need to think so much in the past too.But now I grow up and mature.I must be responsible for all my act and choice.Doing thing I still need to consider alot of thing.Not like the past when I was a child.I think it had been at least 15 year since people touch my head and sai yang me already.

Haiz have beeen thinking that i and her is getting less possible already.As her say although we do sms each other but she still feel that I am still a stranger to her.What can I do?She does not want to open her mind to get to know me.I really can't do anything anymore.People do say that a relationship need both party effort.Me,Jia Da and Hock Meng relationship have been very good because we put time effort hardwork helping one another.However for my relationship with her it seem like I am the only one who put hardwork in.I think it time for me to put down the relationship and leave already ba.Maybe she did put abit effoet in but I really don't know and can't see it.I not blameing her anyway.

It will be best that I leave quietly ba I think so...Although there still some doubt but I think that by putting it down is the best choice.Use te time concentrate on my study as well.I hope that I no party will regret in the future...

Really very sad.Just in a short while I need to put down my relationship with 2 persons.1 is her.Another one is aomebody la.You guy won't know one.

IT TIME THAT I LET GO.GOOD BYB AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU 2.TAKE CARE

2009-01-21T17:59:00.002+08:00

Today specially log in to update.

After school went home with Jia Da.Reach Jurongville secondary school bus stop I saw JOYCE CHUA XIN TIAN.Saw her with a guy.Feel very jealous about it.Now had alway been feeling that it is very impossible for us to be together already because that guy seem to be much more pei to Joyce.I also feel that even if we stead now it also won't last long.But I really love her alot but yet do not know what should I do now.

Will consider wheather I should give up and left quietly with out letting her know ba!!!

Writting in my blog.Then let her know about it ba.

But truely I LOVE YOU ALOT JOYCE CHUA XIN TIAN AND MISS YOU ALOT TOO!!!

Please somebody tell me what should I do!!!

2009-01-18T13:13:00.003+08:00

Hmm,this week have been a very good week until friday afternoon.Something that make me and Jia Da damm angry.Han Xin get internal promotion to 1st sergent without doing anything.As for me and Jia Da we did so much thing for NCC contribute so much yet in the end do you all guy know what is our pay back?I tell you nothing we get.Han Xin did not do anything get promoted from a 3rd sergent to a 1st sergent.As for me and Jia Da we did so much thing we did not even get promoted.Now me and Jia Da have the same rank with Han Xin.So we think what is the use of doing so much>What the use of contribute so much?In the end our position is still the same as a person who did not committee and contribute as much as us.So do you guy think that there still meaning of continue to contribute and committee to NCC?I think it is no.There no meaning.
Thus me and Jia Da decide to go for 10 trainings for our attendance and go do our revision.We don't intend to take care of anything for NCC anymore.Even the CCA opening house preparation do most of the thing in the friday afternoon and came the earlier among the senior to do the preparation.And the reward we get back is nothing even a THANK YOU also don't have.So you all guy think that is NCC still worth me putting my time in?No right!!!

After knowing about our position,I feel so dishearted and think that it tme that I give up my time in NCC and spend it in study which is more worth of using my time compare to NCC.

So now my 3 mains thing to forces is to study and did well for my "O" level this year,doing volunteerary work,exercise.Continue wooing JOYCE CHUA XIN TIAN is also one of the main thing but the first three that I wrote is still the very main.

I MISS YOU JOYCE CHUA XINN TIAN AND I LOVE YOU TOO!!!